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The potential for growth, the potential for transformation,
is something that exists within each of us, as well
as the societies that we create collectively. Change
is happening all the time, whether we initiate it
or not, whether we accept it or not. The ability
to adapt to change, to grow with change, to use
change to enable us to transform ourselves and the
world we live in and in some ways create, is something
that we all have within us. How to use this ability,
to generate the willingness to employ it, is something
we need to come to terms with.
It was in a dream, a dream I had within the last
ten years, that I found myself exploring the issues
of change, growth and transformation. In this dream
I found myself at the end of a street facing a wide-open
chasm. The only way to cross it was to jump across
the chasm that separated me from the other side.
To the left and right of me were solid brick walls
without any openings in them, no doors, no windows,
and the walls were as high as my eyes could see,
the kind of walls one would expect to find in an
alley.
There was nothing stopping me from going back,
back out of the alley, but that wasn’t something
I wanted to do, or was even willing to do. The only
choice that seemed right was to go forward, to somehow
to get across the chasm, to the other side. I knew
that if I went ahead there was no guarantee that
I was going to make it, but I could not stay where
I was, standing in that alley, standing at the edge.
But at the moment in the dream, looking over the
chasm, all I could feel was fear – the fear
of going forward as well as the fear of standing
still.
I woke up from the dream leaving myself still standing
on the edge. While I never had the dream again,
I thought about it a lot. Talked about it, analyzed
it, but I never really got to the core of it –
until now. The meaning at one level was fairly straightforward.
In all of our lives we face moments of decision,
moments when we have to take a leap forward. Often
these decisions cannot be made as part of a rational
decision making process. What we need to do is just
to have faith to make the leap and assume that somehow
it will all work out.
In the years that have followed I have made decisions,
made changes, but none that I felt required making
a leap forward, a leap of faith. All through those
years I kept finding myself coming back to that
dream, wondering what that leap forward actually
was, wondering why I wasn’t able to make it,
wondering what was getting in my way. As in the
dream there were so many times that I felt that
I was on the edge of a transformation, but something
kept me from making the leap, or understanding what
such a leap will entail.
I came to believe that the thing that kept on getting
in my way was the fear itself. Straightforward old-fashioned
fear, the fear that I couldn’t make the leap,
fear of what was or was not waiting for me even
if I made the leap successfully. I further came
to realize was that the problem was that I kept
on seeing the fear as the problem. I believed that
if only I could make the fear go away, if only I
could find the strength within myself to defeat
it, and once it is defeated I imagined that I would
then have the faith to take the steps needed to
make that leap across the chasm and know that whatever
I would find would be all right.
That is where I was allowing myself to wallow.
Because no matter how hard I tried I could not make
the fear go away. I didn’t seem to be able
to surpass it and I certainly didn’t want
to repress it. All I accomplished doing was to exhaust
myself and become more and more frustrated. Then
I realized that I had it all wrong. The problem
wasn’t how to defeat the fear but how to not
let it get in my way. So I was afraid. We are all
afraid at one time or another, especially when we
are facing changes and potential transformations.
The unknown can be pretty scary. But the unknown
is an important and essential part of change, a
part of growth, and a part of life.
What I am coming to understand is that it is important
to try to make that leap even though I am feeling
afraid, especially because I am feeling afraid.
The possibility exists that I may fall trying to
make that leap. I may have to try time and time
again. One thing is for certain – if I don’t
try I am guaranteed to fail. If I try I may end
up flying. Then it hits me that I am just as afraid
of succeeding as I am of failing. To succeed means
having to leave so many certainties behind. But
that is the only way to allow for growth, to open
oneself to transformation.
As I have come to strongly believe, and have often
argued, what is often true for an individual is
often true for society as well. Society is a vital
living thing. If we agree that change is an essential
part of life, to keep society from becoming stuck
and shallow is to be open to the possibility of
growth and transformation - transformation in our
assumptions, transformation in our ideas, and transformation
in our institutions. While change always happens,
there are certain times when transformation becomes
possible. When those moments happen we always have
a choice to move ahead or to hold back. Each opportunity
for transformation comes with a certain set of risks.
The last time there was such a transformative opportunity
was during the revolutionary changes of the 1960s.
Instead of moving ahead, with all of its implications,
the fear of the unknown lead us to put the brakes
on, to reach for the certainties of the past to
avoid the potential unknowns of the future. So what
ended up happening? The growth of an ascendant right
wing that is mired in a past that never existed,
neo-conservative movement that forces through a
stilted vision of the future, a rise in fundamentalism
and fanaticism, and progressive and reform movements
with no clear vision of where they came from or
where they are going.
There have been and will be such opportunities
in society, as there will be in our lives. The year
1989 comes to mind, when totalitarian communism
fell in Europe and was challenged in China. We may
be at such a point today. When it happens we need
to be open to it and to ride through the opportunities
that become available. What are our choices –
to give in to fear or to ride it through and be
open to growth and transformation?
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