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Part #1
8-23-03
When digging a grave it is advisable not to use
or partake in the mantra. ( still the same.... nothing
really changes , another day another dollar, same
old shit. )..............you will miss the true
point of the process.
Everything is different and is in constant change…
Digging a grave is a sacred event albeit hard work...........dry,
hard heavy earth mixed with my tears, grief and
loss.
How deep should I go?
I have till 9 tomorrow morning to make that decision.
More to come I am still digging.
In process to be continued.....
Tony
Part #2
8-23-03
I love trees.
I love their elegance and strength, Oh to see a
tree weather 100 mph winds is quite a spectacle.
They bend and are very pliable......................a
great model for me.
Did I mention I have eight trees?
They are the home for squirrels, chipmunks and many
different variety of birds, some who take advantage
of their perch to shit on my car. They provide shade
in the spring and summer and give me dry leaves
to burn and mulch..........I can still burn leaves
here in my town.
The base of a tree seems like the perfect place
to dig a grave.
I love cats, their independence, speed, and the
great reflexes of the warrior hunter. They have
always been wonderful companions for me. I have
had cats for 30 years or I should say they have
had me.
I have one cat named Oingo...a real piss and vinegar
warrior with the heart and soul of a kitten..
When he has not seen Mary and I for some time he
will vocalize HELLO, but that soon fades after he
realizes we are sticking around and likely to attend
to his voracious appetite…
Every few months he will come in from his nightly
adventures with gouges, cuts, bruises and a swollen
eye.
Raccoons seem to be his most likely opponent.
Mary will patch him up with peroxide and neosporin
ointment and after a few days in his home corner
the bells rings and he is off again on the next
nocturnal foray.
Have you ever dug a grave?
still in process..............................
Tony
Part #3
8-24-03
Dogs, I never had one as a kid, in the housing
projects where I grew up they were not allowed,
so my experience was very limited to being with
dogs and animals in general..
I would feed the occasional stray, with the caution
that they might get attached to me and keep coming
around.
So six years ago I got my first dog his name was
Boots, it so happens that is the same time I got
married to Mary.
He was Mary's dog from a previous life in California,
and unlike me Mary has had dogs all her life.
Over time Boots became our dog
Dogs are not like cats, I figured this out rather
quickly.
Boots has been a very important teacher for me,
his capacity of tolerance for me was much greater
than mine for him.
Today at 9:15 a.m. Mary and I had Boots put down.
He had been ill for the last 6 months and today
was the day for us to say goodbye.
I will miss his DOGNESS, I can't say that I fully
understand what that happened to be., another mystery
of life.
He did teach me about a unconditional loyalty and
love, and he bore my shortcomings with grace and
a smile.
Today Mary and I brought Boots home and we buried
him under the tree, where he will continue to nurture
and sustain life.
I miss him deeply.
Tony
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