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The moonlit trail curves through a strand of scrub
oak. A wicker creel slaps at my side, and dried
leaves crunch underfoot, as I, proudly carrying
my first fishing pole, follow along behind my father.
At the lakeside, I catch minnows with a makeshift
net. My father baits the hooks and casts the lines
far out into the blue-black stillness. Eagerly I
watch the tip of my pole, waiting for a fish to
strike, then settle into the silence of the night.
As the years pass that silence grows into a great
wall between my father and me. Recently, I heard
myself saying to a friend about him, "Not more
than 20 words ever passed between us."
Tonight, as I stand beside him, strapped into his
hospital bed, consumed by dementia, he ruptures
that silence with a rant-against the nurses, his
family, and against me, his son.
I think of that night long ago, and the quiet outdoors
man who loved fishing. I want to go back to the
lakeside, to shake the man and say, "Speak
to your son, speak to him before it is too late."
the sound of a splash
ripples shatter
the moon's reflection
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