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A garden embraces the gathering. Tomatoes, cucumbers,
beans, beets, radishes and stalks of corn adorn
the open-air sanctuary. A newly constructed labyrinth
reminds the guests of the preeminence of life as
spiritual journey. It is the bride’s parental
home.
The Chuppah dances above the heads of the couple.
It offers ready protection from blazing sun or threatening
rain. The voices of mother and son fill the space
with “Lechi Lach” in acapella unison.
A car door clicks shut in the driveway. Late arrivals
whisper ‘excuse me’ as they take mid-row
seats.
Earlier, these words had welcomed the invitees.
Welcome to this time and place: holy ground for
a holy purpose.
It would be difficult to find a human relationship
that embodies a greater complexity and holds more
mystery than marriage. Yet, when we were blessed
with a true partner in marriage, there is then a
chance to evolve in that complex mystery and to
affirm our partner’s sovereignty in the same
moment that we affirm our own.
Sovereignty is the ability to be, simply, oneself:
to experience autonomous selfhood and to gain self-rule.
It is the opposite of control and of surrender.
Partners risk everything to be in the real where
both are themselves. It requires brave hearts on
both sides.
We are here today to witness the bravery of these
two young “old souls”.
Couples nod knowingly to each other. Some breathe
deeply to find their faltering bravery.
If a marriage is to last, it must be tied to something
more enduring than personal feelings.
Approached this way, marriage becomes one of the
primary tools for spiritual growth and for developing
the qualities of commitment and responsibility in
and through the joys and sorrows of the years. Transcendence
of self is the necessary prerequisite for any successful
marriage. The two who will exchange their vows before
us today have readied themselves for this transcendence.
They want their marriage to express justice and
charity. They seek enlightenment so that their actions
will help heal and repair the brokenness of the
worlds.
The assembled bow with the weight of the recent
death of a family friend far away near the Tigris.
They marry today; and we will hear them, later in
this celebration, exchange together the same marriage
vows. They are committed to a day-by-day practice
of enlightenment so as to live a conscious relationship.
They want their love for each other to spill over
into the world.
The prison chaplain in the front row knows first
hand how much love is needed in the heavily burdened
hearts of the inmates he visits on borrowed time
each week.
They learned this growing up in their respective
families. They were nourished in this ancient near
eastern wisdom by parents faithful to their religious
traditions.
Many bodies shift in their seats. Minds ponder,
in distraction. Will hostilities between believers
ever stop?
These two love the whole of creation; love the
world. They see in it the face of God. In their
life together, they pledge to approach each other
and each situation with justice and compassion:
for they know that each moment holds the presence
of God.
The avowed atheist, a few rows away from the speaker,
looks down and clenches his social worker fist resting
on his lap and thinks, “It’s time for
a miracle.” Others also think of the peaceable
kingdom.
The celebrant turns and faces the young couple.
He calls them by their name.
You have known each other for some years now.
You have had time to shed some early illusions and
you have come bravely face to face with the realness
of the other. You know the other more and you love
the other more. You have told me so. I have seen
it in your eyes.
It is of the essence of your religious traditions,
that marriage is understood as a metaphor for the
relationship between human beings and God. You are
ready to incarnate that metaphor.
You marry today and you will relive this sacred
moment every day of your life. You grace each other
today and you will grace each other every day of
your life. You stand under the awesome canopy today
and you will stand under it every day of your life
because you know that you have found your partner
in this world – given to you from all eternity.
A three-year-old calls out to his father. His mother,
amply pregnant, hugs him and hands him to her husband.
Love spills over into the world.
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